Family Involvement? But Why? Hmm..

I was in the SM Mall of Asia. I knew I was. Strangely, the room I was in looked EXACTLY like my room here at home. Only it was probably twice as big, or more. Plus the bed was bigger, queen-sized. But everything else was the same. I just am clueless why my room was in MOA.

SHE was in the room with me. At first it was just the two of us. Then all of a sudden, our Finance committee VP appears, sitting on the left side of the bed, near the pillows. SHE and I were on the bed, just talking. After a while, I moved closer. I attempted to put my arm around her waist, sort of hug her. But she pulled away suddenly. That was her ticklish spot, I remembered. Because of this, she fell from the bed, a little in front of where our FinComm VP was seated.

And we were laughing about it. And I see her beautiful smile.

And on the side, the FinComm VP was just there, laughing demurely at what was going on.

I helped HER get up, but again, she avoided me, and rolled on the bed, over to the right foot side of the bed. She lay down with her hands resting at the back of her head, with both legs bent, as if preparing to kick me. She was wearing a teal-colored dress. She had that smile on her face, that evil playful smile. Yeah, we were fooling around.

I felt the urge to go to the washroom. I went out and, since we were in MOA, I asked the guard where the restroom was. “Sa labas!” he answered in a pissed off tone. So I went out. Couldn’t find it. Decided to go back to my room. Lingered. Then I went out again, looked, can’t find, went back and lingered. Repeat one more time.

When I went out again, I saw stairs, which were REALLY tight, it was hard to climb. It reminded me of the caves in Mt. Banahaw. When I finally got to climb, someone talked to me. “Mukhang pawis na pawis ka ah,” my cousin, Kuya Tom said. He and MJ were there. I went to the bathroom to pee.

I don’t remember what happened next. I think SHE went there as well and we just hung out there.

******

Yesterday, I had another dream. I was in Mama’s house in Project 8. SHE was there with me. So was the rest of my father side family. It wasn’t a formal event, but I was wearing a long-sleeve polo. And SHE was there with me, though I don’t remember what she wore.

I don’t remember much that happened, but we were both shy. It was kinda awkward. I don’t know what the event was, but I’m guessing I introduced HER to my family for the first time.

*******

Well, this is different. That’s two consecutive days where I’ve dreamt of HER and my family is present (my cousin in the dream earlier, an entire side of family in the other). Does this mean something? Or is it just mere coincidence?

The Farthest Dream I Can Remember. Guess Why.

This story happened to me when I was really young, like 3 or 4 years old.

It was a dark night in Mama’s house in Project 8. I was in the garage area, playing, I think. I was wearing this red shirt and jumper which I wore in one picture my family has of myself.

Suddenly, something caught my attention. It was flying from outside the house, towards me. I was all alone at that time. The size of this thing, it was the biggest I’ve ever seen (even up to now that I am 19). It was slowly flying, high enough that it can’t reach me. Of course I’m glad that it will be unable to reach me. It was the size of a car (Think of a typical four-door car, like a Toyota Vios, perhaps. Of course there weren’t any Vioses during this time.).

Car-sized, flying, disgusting. It was a cockroach, the largest of its kind.

Bad news: it was headed towards me and it was getting lower, closer to my height. I started running away from it. I ran, trying to get to the door into the house. I was running as fast as I could. From my eyes, tears were starting to well out. My face was slowly contorting. Fear was distorting it to crying. By this time, everything has turned black: the ground I was running on, the walls surrounding me, the lights, all was pitch black but I can still see my way.

But things just got worse. The cockroach’s legs grabbed me by my right index finger. Pretty soon, I felt my feet were not touching the ground anymore. I was being taken away by this hideous creature. I was being abducted. I looked up at my captor, then back down to the ground. Higher and higher we went, and farther and farther from the house.

The dream ends. And then my young self woke up. From that day on, even up to this day, I fear cockroaches. Don’t even think of playing a joke on me involving these creatures. Seriously.

MB 118

Christmas was in the air. The room was set up well. Students are exuding good vibes. Even the professor was cheerful. The atmosphere felt light. It was the last day of classes before going on Christmas vacation.

Strangely, I found myself back where I was a year ago, in a class I haven’t had in months: Math 2. I took Math 2 second semester of last school year. And we didn’t have any sort of Christmas party in that class. Yet here I was, in that class, with Sir Adj, with my previous classmates.

And the room we were in was even stranger. Room 118 of the Math building, a room I have not encountered since last year’s first semester. Really weird.

Anyway, the chairs and tables were set up in such a way that the room would be spacious in the middle, with some tables grouped together and placed in front of the blackboard for the food to be placed on. On the table, there were chips, some disposable plates, and three bottles of soda, a regular 1.5-liter Coca Cola standing in the middle.

She was with me, wearing a red dress, as if she was in a formal event. I, on the other hand, don’t remember what I was wearing. I think it was the long-sleeve polo I wore during Kapihan, plus jeans and rubber shoes. Nothing too formal. All the rest, casual clothes. Yes, if I’m not mistaken, we were the best-dressed.

And she’s not even my classmate.

Unlike  in my previous dreams, I couldn’t get close to her for some reason. I tried holding her hand but it seemed like there was a force pushing my hand away. Or maybe it was just me being reluctant to hold her hand. Next, I tried  putting my arm around her shoulder. Same issue. I couldn’t. Something was stopping me.

The party went on. We talked a bit more. It seemed like she was the only one in the room. I didn’t notice the others. I didn’t even know anyone else in the room except for her and my professor.

Suddenly, I was asking her to come with me by pulling her with me. I can’t recall what I was doing, or rather, why I was doing it. I brought her to the front and made her stand in front of the table where the food was. Meanwhile, I was making my way up the table, climbing it because, uh, I don’t really know why. I think I was trying to reach for something. I don’t know.

Or maybe I was gonna dance. Or put on a show.

Then I was back in my room, suddenly awakened, bothered not by the fact that I went on the table in front of everybody and did God-knows-what, but because I was unable to hold her hand and treat her the way I did in the past.

Cool dream, though.

Ear Dream

Minsan talaga, bigla na lang nagkakatotoo ‘yung mga panaginip natin.

Kanina bago ako magising, nanaginip ako. May kasama akong kaibigan (hindi na ‘to sweet na eksena kasama ang isang babae; hindi nga sweet to e). Nakaupo lang kami somewhere. Hindi ko maalala kung bakit kami magkasama dun, basta nagsama kami. Siguro nauna ako sa lugar na yun kasi naka-earphones pa ‘ko, nakikinig sa iPod Nano kong nuno ng mga bagong iPod Nano.

In-ear earphones ang gamit ko,  pero ‘yung hindi masyadong high-end. Wala pa atang 300 ‘yung bili ko sa ginagamit ko ngayon. Nakasaksak ‘to sa tenga ko.

Nung dumating na si friend (hindi ko talaga kilala kung sino to), binati ko siya pero tuloy pa rin ang pakikinig ko sa sounds ko. After a few minutes, tinapik niya ‘ko’t hinihiram ‘yung iPod ko, syempre pati yung earphones. Binigay ko naman.

Alam niyo ‘yung kapag kakapulot niyo lang ng earphones, titignan at uusisain niyo ito para malaman kung alin ‘yung pang-left ear at pang-right ear? Ganoon ang ginawa niya.

May kinukuha ako sa bag ko nang tanungin niya ‘ko, “Pare, ba’t wala ‘yung dulo nitong isa?” Nilapitan ko siya. Wala nga ‘yung rubber na nasa dulo nung earphones, ‘yung part na sinusuksok sa tenga. Hinanap ko sa sahig, baka nahulog kasi. Hinanap ko rin sa bulsa ko, sa bag. Pero wala.

Napakamot ako ng tenga nang may maramdaman ako. At doon ko nakita ang nawawalang part nung earphones. Naiwan pala sa tenga ko.

******
Pumunta ako ng UP kanina. Tuwing nagcocommute ako, ilan sa mga essentials na dinadala ko ay ang aking cellphone, panyo, wallet, coin purse, rosaryo, at earphones, at recently, yung iPod nano ko.

Ready to go na ‘ko. Nasa bulsa na ang cellphone, wallet, panyo at coin purse. Kulang na lang ‘yung earphones. Hinahanap ko siya sa patungan ko sa kwarto. Pagkakita ko rito, napansin kong wala ‘yung rubber thing sa dulo na pinapasok sa tenga.

Pagkakita ko nito, bigla kong naalala ‘yung panaginip ko. Kaya ang first instinct ko ay kapain ang tenga ko, hoping na mapupulot ko ang nawawalang parte sa tenga ko, nakakabit.

Pero wala e. Umalis ako ng bahay nang walang entertainment habang nagcocommute. Walang music, walang talk radio, wala. Ang tanging musikang narinig ko ay ang symphony ng busina, makina, at mga barker.

Bench Warmer

The basketball court was clean, it was ready to be played on, but there weren’t any players. The long benches were prepared by the sidelines, but there weren’t any players. The bleachers were cleaned up for the fans to watch the game, but there wasn’t a game to be played.

Instead, it was just…that. A basketball court, a venue for playing basketball. There wasn’t anything, though, which was happening. No players on the court, no ball bouncing, no sound echoing. Nothing.

Except for two people, one guy and one girl, sitting on one bench beside each other. I was the guy, seated on the right side of the girl. The girl? Well, this isn’t the first time.

The atmosphere was pretty gloomy. It wasn’t very dark, but it’s too dark to play proper basketball in. You know the movie scenes where the actor wakes up in the middle of a bad dream? Those scenes have this bluish or purple-ish lightjng, right? That was how the court was lighted.

I was sitting beside her, feeling a little sleepy. Maybe because it was after enrollment and I was really tired from all the walking that I did. I inched to my right a little, away from her, and made a move to lie down on her lap. It felt very comfortable. And it felt like I could really sleep on her lap right then and there. But the best was yet to come.

I was lying down for some time already when I felt her hand touch me on my right cheek. As soon as I felt the touch, I slowly felt a smile creeping it’s way on to my face. It just felt really good.

Then with my right hand, I gently grabbed her right hand, removed it from my cheek, and tucked it in. Since I was lying sideways, hugged her hand, took it in and kissed it, smile still on my face. I went to sleep with her hand clasped with mine.

And it was one of the best sleeps I’ve ever experienced.

Of course this was just a dream. But as soon as I woke up from this dream, which was pretty early (around 6 am), I felt good about it. It seemed so real. And I really wish it were real.

Surrealism: A Dream That Reminded Me Of an Experimental Film

Recently, I’ve been reading a lot. The past three or so weeks, I’ve finished three books. During the same time period, I’ve dreamt more frequently and more vividly.

I woke up this morning with a dream which was pretty long. In fact, it was like two different scenes or short films in one dream.

The first one was short. Well, at least what I recall from it is short. Maraming nangyari, marami akong nakita.

I was riding in a jeep with high school badminton teammates Isay and Martha. We were on EDSA, on our way to SM North. When we were approaching the green footbridge near the jeepney terminal, Martha asked for my camera. Of course I handed it over. She then started filming the short ride remaining. When we got to the terminal, all of a sudden it shifted into (surprise!) the bus terminal in Starmall Alabang. Martha still continued filming as we were going down.

We were walking towards the mall (we were in SM even though it looked like Starmall). The three of us were walking in a row. I was in the leftmost. I don’t remember who was beside me. There was this jeep in front of me, going towards me, moving at a slow speed. It was as if the driver doesn’t care I was walking in front. I avoided it and took a glance at the driver. I was surprised to see he wasn’t looking front at all. He was talking, with his head turned to the back, to a passenger.

I would’ve been run over if he wasn’t going that slow.

Suddenly, (surprise!) the scene shifted. I’m not sure if this happened before or after the previous scene.

I found myself sitting alone inside a parked jeep. Outside, the atmosphere was gloomy. Makulimlim ‘yung kulay, parang art house film galing Europe. It kind of reminded me of a prison, actually, the whole view I was looking at.

I was seated at the right side of the jeep, middle part. I look left, outside, and see a street child. I don’t remember if he was with friends. Basta nandun siya. He was holding a rock the size of a Kowloon House jumbo siopao. Pretty big. And then (surprise!) he throws the rock to the direction of the jeep I was in. Bam! There was a hard landing on the roof. I was terrified. I seriously thought the rock would go through the roof and hit me on the head.

I went down immediately after. Who knows, the kid might go in the jeep and stab me with an ice pick next. I made my way to where my teammates were: (surprise!) my dad’s office. I don’t know why I knew my dad was there. I just did. And I’m even more weirded out that my teammates are there. I knew deep down it was my dad’s office, but when I went in, it looked less like BDO and more like a (surprise!) factory. At least the corridors and the restrooms looked that way.

I made my way inside a room. When I went in, it resembled a school library. There were shelves with papers and books. I don’t really know. That’s what the camera was showing (yes, I am a cinematographer in my dream): a bookshelf filled with books and papers with students and tables in the foreground, out of focus, and other students walking by in the middle ground.

I went in to this room without much of a purpose. And then (surprise!) Chlyde appears. I felt better, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of her. We chatted.

Then the scene dissolved into another place I’ve been in in my dreams before: Mama’s house (my grandma). There was a party hosted there. It was a (surprise!) JC party. In Mama’s house. Weird.

In some undiscovered part of the house (I’ve known that house since I was an infant. Didn’t see this particular place), there was a dinner table. The table was rectangular and can comfortably hold six people, one on each short side, two on each long side. I don’t know if this was dinner or if this was after the dinner since there weren’t much people in the table.

I sat in one short side. Directly opposite me was some guy (light was too dim to see his face), and on my far right was Chlyde. The light was dim, like the lighting used in an interrogation room in movies. There wasn’t any food on the table anymore (or yet). The three of us seemed tired. We weren’t talking. No one spoke. The guy had both elbows on the table. Chlyde leaned closer to him and put her head on his arm near his shoulder. I felt something inside me. Then like magic (or discontinuity editing), they (surprise!) magically appeared on the table’s left side, the guy to my near left, Chlyde beside him. Then Chlyde stood up and hugged the guy, her chest on his left shoulder, her head on his head, and both arms around his right arm with hands clasped. I felt something inside me.

Suddenly the scene shifts to (surprise!) Mama’s room. And it wasn’t just a regular scene. It was a (surprise!) party-like room. The only JCers I could remember who were there in the room were Ralph, Raine, Mario, Chlyde, and myself. The only light source in the room was the TV. On the far side of the room, beside the TV was a couch where the four of them were seated. Meanwhile, I was on the floor in  front of the TV eating chips. Beside me, sitting on the foot of the bed was (surprise!) Mama wearing a duster, preparing to go to sleep.

Time passed. Everyone then started leaving already. Or at least go somewhere else in the house. All except me and Chlyde. She had on her this white sleeveless top with purple and pink prints on the front. We started talking again. I think by this time Mama was already sleeping soundly on her bed. Chlyde and I were talking.

“Inaantok na ‘ko,” I told her. “Tulog na tayo.”

“Tara,” she replied.

We were about to leave but (surprise!) my guitar stuff were there. I was picking up my Behringer V-Amp 2 from the foot of Mama’s bed when it suddenly slipped out of my hands and dropped to the floor. When I picked it up, over half of the knobs were gone. This time other JCers appeared. They helped me look for the missing parts. I checked under the bed, behind the TV, all possible areas. None.

“Parang meron ata dun,” one JCer said, pointing towards the Papa’s closet while seated on the couch and peering under. I went inside to check. Some broken equipment were there. I don’t know, though, how a broken allen wrench was there. Many of them. But I picked them up. I was also looking for (surprise!) a needle. I don’t know why. I found one, but it was the one with a big eye. I told myself it wouldn’t work. I went back out. I looked at my effects and felt so bad. I was gonna lose it. I felt really really terrible about it.

And that was when I woke up thinking, “Thank God that was just a dream,” regarding my guitar effects. I also thought, “Damn, I wish that were real,” for some parts (just figure out which parts).

I don’t really know what to make of this dream, this short film. Though it reminds me of the times when Chlyde and I are hanging alone together and suddenly, someone or something joins us and… basta gets niyo na yun.

Fun dream, all in all.

The Dream Date Has Come

I like this girl. Really beautiful. And she comes from the province where all women come from.

I’ve been wanting to make a move in this girl, but just can’t find the right timing. I want to get her alone. Problem is she’s always with someone. There just hasn’t been any chance to get to her. All that changed in a heartbeat.

A great majority of the people have gone and there were just a few of us left. I inched my way towards her, joining the group after being on the outside looking in the whole time. Talk, talk, fun, fun. Umalis na kayo, dali na,” I thought to myself, so we can be alone. Finally the group shrank and shrank some more.

Ayun. Kaming dalawa na lang. Finally. Sa tinagal-tagal kong makuha ‘tong pagkakataong ‘to, dumating din.

So we talked. And talked. And talked some more.

“Labas tayo,” sabi ko sa kanya.

“Sige ba. Kelan?” sagot naman niya.

“Hmm, gusto mo ngayon na?”

“Sure,” sagot niya, sabay ngiti.

Syempre, I got excited. From being an observer, naging participant na ‘ko. That’s progress for you.

So we went out. It was already night time. Her white off-shoulder top shone through the dark night. We were sitting on steps in front of a shop. Since it was already late, the store was already closed. We just hung out in front of the shop, our backs leaning against the steel. She sat at my left, with her right arm brushing against my left arm. It was like a dream come true for me.

I thought to myself, I want to hold her hand. Maybe I should try. She had her arm straight, with her hands on her lap and her denim-wearing legs straight. I assumed the same position. Then I tried it: using my left hand, I placed it under her right and played with it like it was a ball I was lightly tossing up and down. For about ten or fifteen times I bounced it.

After the last, I gently placed my hand on her lap and let her hand fall into mine. I clasped my fingers with hers, held it.

“Sana hindi siya mag-move away,” I thought to myself.

One…two…three seconds on and she still hasn’t moved away. At the corner of my eye, I saw a small upward curve draw itself on her face. Alright. A few seconds later I felt her fingers gripping mine as well. She’s holding my hand too!

Afterwards, I saw her move her head to lean on my T-shirt shoulder sleeve. Soon as it touched, bam! Something hit me. I think I was knocked out.

I woke up after a nanosecond of being unconscious. My head was on soft ground. The air was cold. The room was dark. It felt familiar, like I’ve been to that place loads of times before.

I was back in my room. Everything was just a dream. ARGH.