A week before my birthday, I went to the LTO to have my license renewed since it was bound to expire next week. Surprisingly, it was not such a terrible experience as compared to the hell of getting it the first time.
Part of the process was the drug test. We know drug tests here in the country. It uses ones urine sample to determine whether one drugged himself.
Back in high school, filling up the container was no problem for me. I always filled it to the brim in one go, and finished the drug test in no time. Perhaps it helped that usually, it would be conducted after lunch, when my bladder is near full and has a lot in the tank.
Before I went for my license renewal, I made the mistake of urinating before leaving the house. The girl handling the containers gave me the little bottle and I went to the bathroom. After letting go, all of a sudden the little bottle seemed so large! The tank was empty. Filling the bottle halfway was a big challenge. Unbelievable.
I went outside the drug testing area. “Water for sale. Available at the cashier” a sign said. I went for it instantly, so i could end the process already. I went for the medical check-up first.
I went to the cashier right after the check-up. The cashier was beside the license area, where documents are given, where the photo and e-signature is taken, you know, those stuff. I asked for some water. The lady said, “Darling, doon sa cashier ng drug test yung tubig.” She was smiling. Either she was polite or she was laughing at me. Doesn’t matter, I was laughing at myself, too.
I bought one bottle. Useless. I drank another one. Close, but still no good. I bought another bottle. I felt the urge to urinate. It was enough.
Going back and forth the drug testing area, I noticed one thing. In one room, they were both selling water and collecting urine samples. A thought entered my mind: could it be that they are using the urine, filtering, it, distilling it, and placing them in water bottles to be sold for 20 pesos each? Disturbing.
What could have taken 30-45 minutes took me an hour longer. Or even more. Since I drank 1.5 liters of water in a span of 20-30 minutes, I urinated a looooot after the whole process. I don’t know which was longer: waiting for the urge to piss, or waiting for the pissing to end.
Overall, the LTO Muntinlupa branch was efficient. There were no fixers around, which made renewing my license quick. Maybe their lack of fixers explain why no one has fixed the sound system in the air-conditioned area, which is the area which needs a sound system. Weird.