Cutting Myself

I cut myself for the first time tonight. As the razor cut through, it didn’t feel as bad as I thought it would. I felt the cut, but not the pain. It was like a scratch and nothing more. Why I did it? I was tired of this life. You were always in my way. I wanted to break up with you already, but then schoolwork needed to be done, or org matters, or other personal commitments. Now, I couldn’t take it anymore. I know you don’t want me to do this. I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe cutting myself would set me free from you, from us, once and for all, or at least until you grow in me again and your presence becomes inevitable.

I cut myself for the first time tonight. And this is what happened…

No pain. None of you, you always-in-the-way annoyingly short black hair. And it was better for the both of us. Now that you’re out of my head, it can breathe freely once again.

Twitter is fun on very rainy nights

May malakas na namang ulan. Nagsusupinde na ng klase ang mga paaralan. Pati mga kolehiyo tulad ng UST, DLSU, CSB, at ADMU ay nagsuspinde na. Pero syempre, last man standing ang UP. Take a look at my Twitter news feed as of 10:20-something PM.

****

@Rhobbodendron
Tangina niyo daw, hindi raw makakapasok si Oble bukas. Di na siya perfect attendance. Pakingshet

Gaano kadalas ang minsan? No percent of the time. #SuspendClassesInUPDiliman

Totoo ba yung magiging merman na raw yung istatwa ni Oble? #SuspendClassesInUPDiliman

@mikkogozalo
UP Diliman to suspend classes based on height. Mga 4″ and below palang daw ang walang pasok bukas. #unconfirmed

@hiMEDYAS
di magsususpend UP hanggang di umaabot yung baha sa etits ni Oblation.

@filofthefuture
Hihintayin daw ni Chancy na liparin ang dahon ni Oble bago mag-suspend ang UP :)) #SuspendClassesinUPDiliman #nakikisawsaw #undergraddaw

@makpendatun
May bago na po tayong team name: UP FIGHTING MARINES! #SuspendClassesinUPDiliman

@kimpauig
Ano bang gayuma ang pwedeng ipainom kay Chancy para magsuspend ng klase?

@carmelamaniego
I heard hindi na daw isko and iska ah? Isda na daw. Hahaha. #SuspendClassesInUPDiliman

@lendenpen
“Suspension is declared if there is complete total blackout in UP Diliman.” TARA HANAPIN MAIN FUSE?!

@QuinaBaterna
Sana sa UPCAT at ACET, tinanong nila kung handa ka na maging isda.

@tweedelliedee
Maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll all grow gills by tomorrow! Eh, fellow schoolmates?? #UPsuspensionprobz

@lixisidro
President @BarackObama please help us. RT #SuspendClassesInUPDiliman

@GlassesAndBooks
“Ano ang dapat na maging lagay ng panahon para isuspend ni Chancy ang klase sa UPD? Include satellite image.” #RejectedUPCATEssayQuestions

@zoesandejas
News update. Pe classes that require the swimming pool are now transferred to the lake, formerly known as the sunken garden.

@astro_anj
ISKOBADIVERS =))))))))))))))))

@CheeseIsKeish
#UPFightingMarine #IskobadiversNgBayan

@SirLawrencium
PAG SI OBLE NA MISMO ANG BUMABA SA PWESTO NYA SA SOBRANG LAMIG AT LAKAS NG ULAN BAKA DUN LANG MAGSUSPEND! #suspendclassesinUPD

@yskirualo15
“Matatapang, matatalino, walang takot kahit bumagyo, hinding hindi magsusupindi, ganyan kaming mga taga-UP.” #SuspendClassesInUPDiliman

@divinest
Ang tapaaang ng UP. Ayaw bumigaaay. Ano ba students dyan? Olympians?

And probably the one with the most potential, a Tumblr account:

@jodeszgavilan
Hahaha found this: dearchancy.tumblr.com

*****

Entertaining rin basahin ang mga ganitong tweets, at nangyayari lang ito sa mga gabing ganito, malakas ang ulan at lahat nagkukumahog kung may pasok nga ba sa UP o wala.

Ang RH Bill at FOI Bill

Dalawa sa mga bill na hinihintay ng karamihang maipasa ay ang RH Bill at ang FOI Bill. Ilang taon na, dekada pa nga ata, naghihintay ang mga tao, pero wala pa rin. Kung bakit, hindi natin malalaman.

Kaya eto ang aking mga pinopropose na mga RH bill at FOI bill na posibleng ipasa rin ng gobyerno:

Red Horse Bill – naglalayon ang bill na ito na bigyan ng malaking discount ang Red Horse Beer sa lahat ng mga tindahan. At dahil dadami na ang iinom, dapat magkaroon na rin ng….

Freedom of Inuman Bill – ang bill na ito ay isasabatas ang pagpapatayo ng mga tambayan aka inuman hotspots sa paligid. Imbes na waiting shed lang, lalagyan ito ng mesa, upuan, at basurahan sa tabi kung saan duduwal ang mga lasing na.

Fried Okra and Isda Bill – magiging batas na na dapat ulam once a day ang fried okra at isda. Kung empleyado ng gobyerno, dapat kainin ito tuwing lunch at dapat i-share sa mga katrabaho.

Radyong may Headphones Bill – para mabawasan ang ingay sa kapaligiran, labag na sa batas ang makinig sa radyo na nakaloudspeaker sa pampublikong lugar. Kung gusto mong makinig, magheadphones ka nang hindi mahuli.

Filipinos Only Indahouse Bill – bawal na ang dayuhan sumali sa PBB. Palagi na lang dayuhan. Purong Pinoy lang ang pwede.

Robot at Halimaw Bill – lahat ng pelikulang gagawin sa bansa, kailangan may robot o halimaw na character. Kapag may robot, dapat design ‘to ng Department of Science and Technology. Kapag may halimaw, dapat design ng isang national artist.

Syempre hindi ito ipapasa ng gobyerno. Masyadong out-of-this-world ang mga ‘to. Pero malay niyo naman diba? Alam niyo naman ang gobyerno natin. Minsan may pagkawirdo. Ipasa na kasi ‘yang RH Bill (yung Reproductive Health) at FOI (yung Freedom of Information Bill) nang hindi nasasayang ang oras niyo sa mga walang kakwenta-kwentang kasulatan kagaya nito.

Remembering UPCAT

The red light was flashing. The timer was counting down slowly. Thirty seconds before the green light goes off. 3, 2, 1, 0. Green means go. Left-turning cars inch their way forward. Impatient drivers behind honk their horns, anxiously trying to enter C.P. Garcia from Katipunan.

Bu the queue does not move. At all. The green arrow turns red. Motorists have to wait another half a minute. Thirty seconds pass by, another green light, another fruitless attempt at turning left. The traffic jam was getting bad. It was rush-hour like.

Wait, rush hour-like? Isn’t it that a real rush hour?

Nope. It was five in the morning of the first Saturday of August. It was the day of the UPCAT.

My brother is taking the UPCAT this year. As I am writing this, he is taking his UPCAT in the Math Building. He is one of an expected 75,000 hopefuls to enter the Philippines’ premier state university.

I remember the time I took my UPCAT three years ago. It has been three years already? Wow, time flies like a jet. August 1st, 2009. We left Alabang at 4 am and arrived at UP Diliman by 5. We left early to try and avoid traffic. Of course there was none yet at that time. It was still dark. No traces of the sun just yet.

That was also the time when former President Corazon Aquino was on her deathbed. The car’s radio was tuned in to DZMM’s coverage of Cory’s final moments. At 5-something, it was announced: Cory Aquino has passed on. The peaceful darkness of the sky and the surroundings provided a fitting background to her death.

Slowly, sunlight was starting to show. And as the day got brighter, more and more parents and students started filing in. I felt a little pressure. The College of Arts and Letters (CAL), where I took the exam, was not an intimidating building, compared to the large and looming Palma Hall or the College of Engineering. CAL was small.

I stepped out of the car when we saw students lining up below the ramp. I fell in line as well. While waiting, somebody tapped me and called my attention. It was one of my high school mates. I was ahead in line.

Then students came from inside CAL. They led us to our rooms. I was assigned to CAL 410. Since I was the first in the line to enter, I was seated at the first row, at the seat right beside the window, and from my view I could see more students entering in singe file.

I got settled. I was relaxed, not so nervous, just right. When the proctor entered, one of the first things he or she asked (I forgot if the proctor was a boy or a girl) was if we listened to the news that morning.

The proctor started distributing the test materials. That was it. I don’t remember much from that time on. What I remember is that I treated it like a high school diagnostic/aptitude/achievement test. The college feel? No, I did not feel that at all. Except, of course, that this time, I really prepared. Review classes and nightly readings of previous years’ notes and lessons.

I finished the exam pretty satisfied with my performance. When the result came six months later, I was happy with it. I was one of the 12,550 qualifiers, among which 3,831 qualified in the Diliman campus. 69,708 attempted. I was one of the lucky ones. Thank God.

That was three years ago. This time, another 75,000-plus students will have their own experiences like mine, whether they pass their first choice, or not, in the campus they want or not, or whether they altogether fail entering, 75,000 new experiences are waiting to happen, my brother one of them.

Entering UP will be like the C.P. Garcia traffic jam. Once one gets in, it will be fun. C.P. Garcia had lots of potholes, just like the UP ride. It will be full of bumps, it will be rough.

The UPCAT is many students’ green light to a life-changing education.

But, like many have said in the past, entering UP is the easy part; finishing it is the hard one.